Michelle Middii


As we navigate through the ups and downs of life, we all face challenges that can impact our mental and emotional well-being. From dealing with stress and anxiety to coping with grief and loss, our mental health is constantly being tested. In the midst of these struggles, one thing that can make a tremendous difference is speaking from the heart.

At its core, speaking from the heart means expressing ourselves in an authentic, heartfelt manner. It involves tapping into our deepest emotions and values and communicating them with clarity and conviction. When we speak from the heart, we not only connect with others on a deeper level, but we also connect with ourselves, gaining a greater understanding of our own thoughts and feelings.

In the context of mental health and personal growth, speaking from the heart can be a powerful tool for self-expression and healing. For example, if you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, speaking openly and honestly about your feelings with a trusted friend or mental health professional can help you gain insight into your own emotions and find effective coping strategies.


Expressing ourselves authentically can also be a key component of building and maintaining meaningful relationships. When we share our vulnerabilities, we create a space for others to do the same. This can foster deeper, more authentic connections with        others, which can help us feel less alone and                                                                          isolated in our struggles.

However, speaking from the heart can be challenging, particularly if we’re not used to expressing ourselves in this way. It can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable to share our innermost thoughts and feelings with others. That’s why it’s important to practice self-care and self-compassion and to seek support from trusted friends or mental health professionals if we need it.

Here are some tips for speaking from the heart:
1.  Take time to reflect on your emotions and values. Before you can speak from the heart, you need to have a clear understanding of what’s important to you and what you’re feeling. Spend some time journaling or meditating to gain a deeper understanding of your own emotions and values.

2.  Find a trusted listener. Speaking from the heart can be challenging, especially if you’re not used to expressing yourself in this way. Find someone you trust, such as a close friend or mental health professional, to share your thoughts and feelings with.

3. Practice active listening. Listening is just as important as speaking when it comes to speaking from the heart. When someone else is speaking, make sure to give them your full attention and actively listen to what they’re saying.

4. Be honest and authentic. Authenticity is key when it comes to speaking from the heart. Don’t try to sugarcoat your feelings or hide your true self. Speak your truth, even if it’s difficult.

5. Practice self-care and self-compassion. Speaking from the heart can be emotionally taxing, so it’s important to take care of yourself. Make sure to practice self-care, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. And don’t forget to be kind and compassionate to yourself, especially if speaking from the heart brings up difficult emotions.

In conclusion, speaking from the heart is a powerful tool for promoting mental health and personal growth. By tapping into our deepest emotions and values, and communicating them authentically, we can gain a greater understanding of ourselves and build more meaningful connections with others. If you’re struggling with mental health issues or just looking to deepen your connections with others, consider speaking from the heart as a way to promote healing and growth. Remember, when it comes to speaking from the heart, authenticity is key.

Twenty-twenty-two will always be a special year for me. It was a year of personal growth and challenge. There were times when I felt overwhelmed and unsure if I could handle everything that was thrown at me, but through it all, I felt God’s strength and support. This year pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to reevaluate my priorities. I also learned to appreciate the true value of friendships that were there for me during the tough times. As the year comes to a close, I wanted to reflect on some of my lessons.

Personal growth is often accompanied by a feeling of accomplishment, but it is important to remember that it is often through challenges and difficulties that we experience the most growth. This year, I have encountered several experiences that have forced me to slow down and reflect on my personal growth as an individual.

At the start of this year, I was living in a small studio apartment and had just adopted my first cat, Oreo. Oreo was an all-black cat with a white birthmark on his body. Living on my own can be lonely, and Oreo helped brighten my mood and provided some emotional support. Unfortunately, my time with Oreo was cut short when he ran away. I was devastated and spent months searching for him, but eventually had to accept that he was gone. It was a tough experience, as I felt like a failure for not being able to keep my pet safe and happy. Oreo had

Explore the benefits of selling your house for cash in Maryland at become an important part of my emotional well-being, and losing him was difficult.

Sometime this year, I quit my job as a Digital Marketer and ventured into being a Travel Consultant. During my time in this new job, there were several warning signs that I chose to ignore because of the financial benefits. I was eager to improve my financial situation and wanted to be able to afford nice things and create a comfortable future for myself. For months, I tried to convince myself that my new job was because of my qualifications and work ethic but it wasn’t. The answer to my dilemma was black and white, the only reason I got that job was that my friend was the wife of the owner of the company. However, this new job ultimately brought out negative aspects of my personality and reopened old wounds related to bullying. It also became apparent that I was not valued or wanted within the company

An unsettling experience in which my safety was compromised prompted me to take a pause and reevaluate my actions. At what felt like the peak of my success, I was unexpectedly terminated from my job and had to find the motivation to move forward, even though all I wanted to do was succumb to my sadness and isolate myself. This was a particularly difficult time for me because, although I take pride in my work ethic and had never been fired before, I found myself in a demoralizing situation.

The third experience that prompted me to change my approach to personal growth was a friendship that I considered to be very dear to me. Ivy (not her real name) and I had been friends off and on for years, and as someone who is anxious and prone to being clingy in my relationships, I truly cared for her. However, despite my feelings for her, our friendship was not enough for Ivy, and after months of reconnecting, she suddenly stopped communicating with me. I spent days lost in thought, trying to understand what I might have done wrong to cause the loss of this friendship. I began to question my ability to judge people and their intentions towards me, as I had experienced a significant number of lost friendships over the course of the year and had come to the conclusion that I was the problem. Losing friends can throw off your sense of balance and leave you feeling lonely.

In July, I became engaged to the love of my life. I used to underestimate the transformative power of love, but I have come to realize just how much it can change a person. I never thought that someone would find me worthy of love, as I have faced a series of rejections throughout my life. My partner’s acceptance and love for me was the greatest highlight of my year. He loves me with pure and genuine love and is gentle, compassionate, and caring. He is almost perfect in every way, and being with him makes me constantly feel high and in love. He is my forever source of joy and happiness.

Through these experiences, I have come to understand that life is always changing and we have the power to decide what we allow to affect us and what we need to let go of in order to lead a happy and stable life. I may not be where I thought I would be by the end of the year, but I am proud of myself for how I handled the challenges that came my way. I am proud that I never gave up on myself, even when everything seemed to be falling apart, and that I remained true to my values and beliefs. These highs and lows have made my twenty twenty-two an unforgettable year.
I have learned to love even harder when love is not reciprocated. I have learned to laugh and find joy in the music of life, no matter what it may bring. I have learned to accept myself as a constantly evolving and improving person, and to stand tall in the face of whatever challenges life throws my way. I have learned to appreciate and love those who truly care for me, and to let go of people who send mixed signals or do not align with my values.

One area that I regret not focusing on more this year is my mental health. It is unfortunate that we often prioritize our physical well-being over our mental well-being, but our minds play a crucial role in our emotions and overall functioning. I found myself sinking into depression and no one around me seemed to notice. I am the type of person who puts on a facade for different situations, but behind closed doors, I was struggling and it almost consumed me. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone about what was really causing my pain due to the stigma surrounding mental health issues. However, in twenty-twenty-three, I vow to make my mental health a top priority. I will seek counselling, take time for myself, and focus on healing. It is important to take care of our mental health not only for our own well-being but also because our mental state can have an impact on those around us.


“Your life is a beautiful blank canvas. You have the choice of splashing it with the most gorgeous and spectacular colours by doing what you love.”
― Hiral Nagda

Writing has always been a form of escape for me over the years. Without it, I tend to feel suffocated, lost and emotionally heavy. Over the years, my words have given me great solace whenever traumatic life situations posed a threat to my mental state.

When I began this blog, some friends reached out to me. Most of them could not understand why I chose to be vulnerable, open and transparent in a public space. I remember I smiled and told them it was not about me. People needed relatable life solutions and encouragement that they have someone in their corner. With this driving force, the support I got from strangers and people willing to share their stories was overwhelming.

They say you can not pour from an empty cup, thus my long hiatus. I have done the hard work, re-filled my cup, loved on myself and am ready to pour my heart to you. Know more on, FL treatment centers

It feels good to be back!

Yours Truly,
Michelle Middii

I get a jittery feeling whenever I see the word “new.” For me, it signifies a fresh start. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and these can provide opportunities for new beginnings. The start of a new day, month, or year can be especially invigorating because it gives us the chance to start over and try again.

The month of November always brings me down. My past life haunts me and the memories of past pain during this month bring on anxiety. Although I have not fully healed from all the hurt, I am genuinely trying to move forward and become a better version of myself. It’s a bittersweet feeling because my birthday is also marked by the loss I have experienced. It’s not that I enjoy being unhappy, but I struggle with my birthday because my dad passed away on this day (may he rest in peace). My heart and mind are at odds with each other, with my heart wanting to mourn and my mind reminding me that he is in a better place now.

This November, I feel a sense of celebration within me. I want to turn my mourning into gratitude. Every time I faced challenges and walked alone, I know that He was with me. I want to celebrate the person I have become, the struggles and joys that brought me here, and the friends who supported me along the way (even if some of those relationships have ended).

Fun fact, November is the only month that begins with ‘no’. So I choose to profess nothing but positive vibes all the way.
No fear! Fear will no longer take charge of the decisions I make.
No anxiety! I will not stress over things that I can not CONTROL.
No going to bed angry! Radiating positive vibes in my dreams.


As I looked deep into his eyes, they were distant and emotionless.
Gonne were the days when his eyes were full of admiration and love for me. In my disbelief, I repeatedly tried to convince myself that this was forever. He had poured out his love to me till it ran out. I knew deep down that these were signs of a shattering end. I couldn’t imagine a life without him, the apple of my eye.

As I drowned in his arms, his embrace was emotionless. He just held me as though it was a mandatory responsibility. The warmth that would make me feel loved was lost replaced with ice. The signs are evident, love no longer lives here, but my heart still holds on to you.

Every day you would engage me in meaningless yet exciting conversations which would keep us up through the night. Your smile was like a sudden beam of sunlight illuminating the darkest corners of the room, but a frown has replaced the vibrant smile that made me feel alive. Lately, silence seems to be the only conversation between us, head nods and phone tones make us aware of the presence of each other.

The burning desire that would make you touch my clothes like pages you wanted to turn and drown into a world of endless ecstasy is a distant memory. I crave your mouth and desire to eat your skin like a whole almond. So fierce is the desire to align and entwin our mouths, a raging forest fire.

Maybe, it’s time to say goodbye.

I look back at the life that we shared, and immediately my heart feels an intense sense of longing. I remember when I said I wanted you to stay in my life because I couldn’t imagine living every day without you. I remember all the nights that we spent as if the world was ours as if we were the only two people in the world.
You have no idea how much I remember every single moment that I had with you.
Because how could I forget a part of my life that was once special to my heart?
I think that wherever place I will end up, and whatever situation I will find myself in the future — my heart will remember you as I look up at the dark expanse of the sky. And I don’t think I will ever forget you, even if we lost each other, even if our relationship was short-lived.
You will always be my favourite person to write about, the story told to the people I meet. You will always be someone who nursed my heart to life with an intense love that brought down all my walls.
You will always be the best thing that I have set free.
But as for now, I am gradually accepting that maybe we’re not meant for each other. I believe that life has something better in store for me. Our season came and went like the wind. How does one forget a love so great that elated you to the sky?

It might take me a while to forget and let you go, im content that life placed you along my path. Maybe someone is already destined to be your better half, and although it’s heartbreaking to know that it’s not me you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, I am still trying my best to be happy for you, for both of us.

I am trying to distance myself from you, hoping that my soul will get a sense of healing and relief. My heart tries not to think of how content you are in your life while I am here putting my broken pieces together, nursing my heart to life. But I know that I am strong enough to mend this heartache. Time has a healing nature that will give me the courage to let go of my fears of finding love. I will turn the mistake of us into lifelong lessons.

I believe one day I will meet someone who will fill my life with so much happiness. And when that time comes, my heart will be ready to be claimed by someone who will be honoured to take care of it and complete it. I will be so happy in someone else’s arms that the pain I got from you will become irrelevant. I will see my reflection in someone’s eyes and be overwhelmed to realize that it feels just right. I will no longer have to doubt myself if I’m giving out too much love or too little of it because the love I’m sharing is coming back to me.

She finds it hard to trust again because the bitter taste of betrayal lingers in her mind. Anxiety caused by abandonment in her time of need makes her dwell in the dark spaces of life. Some days, her best days, a fake smile will form on her face to take her through the day. The raging thoughts within her are so loud and cause multiple anxiety attacks.

Harrowing memories flood her mind whenever she shuts her eyes. Images of pointing fingers laughing at her lingers from a distance bringing restlessness to her poor soul. Everyone around her expected perfection from her without consideration. The underlying presumptions about her reduced her life to somewhat meaningless and less worthwhile.

She identified with lies spoken about her with no one to defend her reputation. Who could have dared stand up and face her accusers on her behalf?. What could she say or do to prove that she wasn’t these lies? What could she do to receive the necessary love to keep her going? Every day was a nightmare on its own. She craved peace, joy and most importantly, eternal love.

Every day she breaths in dust and exhales smoke, which causes her to cough out blood, threatening her very own existence. She doesn’t know the difference and beauty of smoking free air. Fear and timidity have been her closest companion. She is perceived as uptight because her guard is up and ready for confrontation and rejection.

Her scars grow deeper with no one to hold her breaking soul and encourage her to try again. Did life come with a manual that her caregiver forgot to hand over?. Oh, how she wishes she had someone to tell her when this misery would end. Nothing ever made sense to her, broken beyond repair. The tears she cried every day did not give her solace anymore.

She had heard of a gift called salvation which she was to be purchased by pure gold. Who would have thought that the gift of salvation and happiness would ever knock at her doorstep?. Sorrow had become a constant companion, she welcomed her to make a home in her heart and soul. Twenty years under the sun, would salvation save her?.


They say money is the source of all vices if used wrongly but it can also be a source of all comfort life can offer. You will need to cultivate discipline from within to ensure that your expenditure is not more than your disposable income or your savings are very minimal, balance is key. Here are some tips to help you learn how to strike a healthy balance:

Looking to sell your house quickly? Check out the services available at for efficient solutions.

  1. Spending
    Whenever you receive any amount, you need to carefully calculate your pending, or else you will find yourself impulse buying. Keep track of your spending and narrow it down to the basics to ensure that you have enough to save. It is important to record all your expenditure for easy tracking.
  2. Budget for savings.

Once you have proper figures on your expenditure it will be easy for you to calculate how much money you can save monthly or any other time depending on how frequently you receive money.    Always budget for your savings to ensure you are.

Looking to sell your property in New York? Visit for swift and convenient cash offers.

  1. Set a saving goal.
    When you have a specific goal of doing something you will have the self-drive to do anything to reach that set goal. Before saving you should often ask yourself, “what am I saving for?” It might be a car, a house, a piece of land. No matter what the reason is, it will give you direction on how you should go about it. Always categorize your goals into short term and long term.
  2. Selling a house in Alaska has never been easier—check out for additional information.
  1. Decide on your priorities.
    The more money you get the more the expenses incurred. It is normally advisable to focus on your priorities when you are planning to spend any amount of money. It may be challenging at first but the more you do this, it develops to a healthy pattern that will enable you to save more.
  2. Interested in selling your home quickly? Check out for hassle-free home sales in New York.
  1. Choose the right tools.
    Gone are the days when people would save all their money under a mattress or walk with it. Various firms have come up to do the saving for you. You can choose a platform whereby your money will gain interest over a certain period like banks, insurance firms through money market funds, and SACCOs; you can also choose the simplest method we have today by saving in M-shwari through Safaricom. Choose a platform that will be flexible and convenient for you.
  2. Need a fast and stress-free way to sell your Maryland property? Explore the services offered at and get started.
  1. Discipline
    This is a self-drive that determines all your actions which most of the time brings out a positive outcome. If you are not willing to be disciplined with your spending you will never save at all. You will end up in a whole cycle whereby you will be using all your money without planning for the future. The harsh reality is that you may not always have money, and your savings now will come in handy.

Being financially disciplined is a gift you can always reward yourself. The progress might be slow but completely worth it. Take the step today and be bold enough to minimize every unwanted expense. Make the art of saving become a lifestyle. Know more on, medicare agents


Saving is a necessary financial discipline that prepares us for the uncertainty that comes with the future days, it also helps one achieve a certain set goal (buying land, paying fees, paying a mortgage, etc.) and also provides a sense of financial security. It is important to instil a culture of saving in the younger generation because they are the most energetic and are a representation of a nation.  A lot of saving platforms have come up over the past years (banks, Chamas, and money markets), however, Saccos still remain outstanding because of their convenience and flexibility.

A SACCO (Saving and Credit Cooperation Organization) is a platform formed by people with similar interests who come together to form a credit union.  SACCOS is becoming increasingly popular at this time because members are able to save money, take loans and buy shares. The beauty is that once you start saving in a SACCO you cannot access this money anytime but can only access it through taking a loan or terminating your membership. Another plus is that one does not incur any amount of money for saving in SACCOS.

Some of the benefits that come with being a member of a SACCO are:

  1. Emergency loans.
    When a SACCO member faces an emergency, they can apply for a loan which will be processed within twenty-four hours or depending on the borrower’s urgency. The interest rate for every grunted loan is low compared to banks which makes SACCOs very popular. It is also important to note since the loan is given within a short time, the payment duration is also limited.
  2. Instil a saving culture.
    SACCOs create a saving culture where members are needed to make a stipulated monthly contribution. The contribution must be made regardless of any financial crisis one might be facing. This helps to ensure a regular saving pattern and enhances a sense of financial security.
  3. Limited liability.
    This is a condition whereby shareholders are legally responsible for the debts of a company only to the extent of the nominal value of their shares.  Sacco members can be at ease because their liability is limited to their savings. This means that if the Sacco goes bankrupt the members’ personal assets remain secure.
  4. Investment opportunities.
    All Sacco members are subject to receive yearly dividends which are dependent on the balance in deposits and share capital.
    Some Saccos have different projects in which their members can invest in for example home properties or land. Members can venture into these projects at an affordable price.
  5. Cheap interest on loans.
    Saccos normally give out low-interest-rate loans which are very convenient. Some Saccos can allow one to borrow up to three or four times their savings. For this to be implemented one will need to have a guarantor or collateral which acts as the security.Saccos are revolutionizing the saving culture in the modern. If you are looking for a platform to start your saving journey, consider joining a Sacco today.

Mental struggles are real. Sometimes we tend to fake our mental state just because we fear people will think less of us. And so we hide away and suffer in silence. A smile to cover your bleeding heart and your self-identified shame. You wallow in self pitty till one day you break. And most breakouts end up in suicide. I too reached this point and suicide was my only way out.

As I heald the surgical blade in my hand, the only thought that runs through my mind was ending the pain.

The other day you called me and told me to dress up you were taking me out. You can imagine my excitement. When was the last time you took me out? and I thought to myself this was the affirmation I needed. I had childlike Joy the whole day and nothing could ruin it. I was having a shitty day at work, but who cared, I was going on a date with you. I hurriedly left work, went home to freshen up. Everything seemed so right. The water running through my skin, the body splash sprayed on my skin, and the final touch the dress I just bought specifically for this day.

As you sat across me I couldn’t help but admire you, my love. Your smile, your laughter, your whole presence were breathtaking. I felt like the luckiest woman on this earth. We called a cab and on the back seat, you held my hand, whispered you loved me. Kissed me on the cheek, I was slightly embarrassed because of the PDA but it didn’t matter, I was with You. We went home and You made me feel alive in ways only you could have. I remember my friends telling me how I glowed the next morning.

Little did I know my happiness was short-lived. It’s funny how words that made my heart full could turn into sweet nothings. She stood on my doorstep. The familiar face that had been threatening us, or rather me because you already fell out of the equation. Here I was staring face to face with the devil herself(I will not be kind with my words)She asked for you. She even said you left your watch at her place the previous night and handed it to me, the watch I got you on your birthday. I held my composure as everything inside me broke into a storm. As I shut the door, I sat down and began to sob. My whole world was falling apart.

For months now I had a hunch she existed, or rather they existed. A long trail of evidence from lipstick stains on your lips and collars to receipts to late nights with the excuse of work(You forgot I worked side by side with you and I knew the timings well), to you being distant and finally no affection or remorse towards me. My blood began to boil with anger as I paced up down trying to construct a speech to recite to you, my lover.

One thing I hated about you was how you made me feel. Your words constantly tore me down which was accompanied by your refusal to admit you were wrong, making me feel like the reason for your infidelity. I was never a saint and I always felt as though your rejection was penance for all the ills I had committed. What makes me sick is that I loved you through it all. I was told a woman should protect her home, be the rock when the man is failing. Which has made me realize how barbaric some of the expectations placed on a woman are. If a man is being unfaithful it’s the woman’s fault, the woman must be the one to fight to keep a relationship. To hell with all this nonsense I am here to re-write the rules that govern us, women.

It had been months of anguish and sorrow. A loveless relationship. There were days I didn’t even want to look at you, have you next to me let alone having you hold me in the steamy moments. I cried day and night wondering what I could do to save you because there was no more us. Save you from leaving me, because I thought I was the best decision you have ever made. My friends spoke in one accord, to leave you and begin afresh. But I stayed. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t love being sad and lonely but to have you I would do anything, even walking on fire…..(LOL Hypothetically).

I put the surgical blade aside and decided to write a farewell note and posted it on my WhatsApp status, then turned my phone off. I was ready to end my penance. Ready to get solace. Hot tears welled down my cheek. One….Two…Three… hahaha! I heard your laughter fill the house. Yes, my reason not to do it. You came to save me. I pretended to be sleeping because knowing you you would ask me why were my eyes swollen as if you cared. I heard you take out a bag and pack a few clothes. You called my name thrice and I pretended to be in deep slumber. Then you slapped me, yes slapped me for no reason. You told me you will be travelling for the weekend and will be back on Sunday. I nodded my head and you left.

You didn’t even notice my swollen eyes. How this love turned out to be a bitter pill still puzzles me. On Saturday night I went out with my friend to a rock event. I pretended to be okay because it was his first rock gig in a long while with a new band. I had to support him no matter what. Fake smiles hardly hide anything from your person. He noticed right through my fake smile. We talked about it and by the end of the night I remember how I hugged him goodbye repeatedly and in the last hug, I just held him a little bit longer because I knew what I was going to do. I knew this was the last time I would feel this peace because I would go to hell anyway for killing myself.

As I held the surgical blade this final time I took my phone and opened my WhatsApp over fifty messages from people who cared about me, several I tried calling you notifications. Not to sound like a jerk but their concern did not matter because the only concern I needed was from you. Un, Deux, Trois it was done.

As I lay on the bed I felt my life fleeting away and a sigh of relief for a brief moment. I must have passed out for several hours because by the time I woke up it was 7 pm. I couldn’t believe it. why was I still here?. Was there a reason for this failed suicide attempt? If people notice the scars on my hands. I whispered, “It’s not the end Michelle” turned off the pity party, cleaned myself up and prepared some food, and ate and for the first time in four days.

I am alive, God saved me. I decided not to take this failed suicide attempt lightly. I immediately knelt down and cried out to God because that was the only source of strength I knew. God saved me, God healed me and God preserved me. I texted back my friends and assured them I’m okay. But no one knew what transpired that day in the closed walls all alone, I saw God. I gained strength that I had never had and decided it’s not the end for Michelle.